REMEMBERING ~ 9 - 11 - 01

10 years! WOW! This past week has been filled with emotion, tears and mostly reflection. I remember the very moment that our nation's history changed forever.
 It started out like any other day. I had just turned on the television to the Today show when Katie Couric and Matt Lauer had announced a plane had flown into the one of the Trade Center buildings. I immediately picked up the phone and called my neighbor, Jennifer, to have her turn on her television so that we could talk throughout and that's  when the second plan hit the second Trade Center building. My heart sunk with that very moment changing my life changed forever.

Gordon was at work, the three (Brendon, 10; Kelsey, 8; Hailey, 6) older kids were off to school as I began to see the impact of airplanes flying into the World Trade Center would have.  Then the last plane that was headed for the Pentagon, went down into an open field. I wondered what this would mean not only for me personally, but for my family and the nation. I did not know one single person that was involved, but I did know I felt something and it would be a day in history that would never, never be forgotten.

I turned on every single television in the house sat down and held Shane tight.  Shane had just barely turned 4y/o and as I was trying to fathom the events of the morning me watching and re-watching every moment. As I look back I can only imagine what Shane was feeling as he watched heard the news of airplanes killing people. He loved airplanes and wanted to be a pilot when he grew up.  I continued to stay glued to the television, not quite sure what I was feeling. Many tears were shed. All of those people. All of their families. It was so hard to take it all in.  Trying to make heads or tails of such an event was not an easy task. In many moments throughout the day I felt numbness, pain and anguish for those who had lost their loved ones. WHY!? Why do we, a nation have to endure this tragedy? As a nation, we didn’t fully understand at the time WHY. Yet, the one good thing that came from this tragic event, we as a nation, came together as one in unity and love.

 And he commanded them that there should be no contention another, but that they should look forward with one eye, having one faith and one baptism, having their hearts knit together in unity and in love one towards another.
~Mosiah 18:20

That night President George W. Bush spoke to the nation. What an amazing moment! My heart leaped at the words he spoke. President Bush spoke eloquently and most of all humbly. Through his words people were able to feel for the first time in decades a unity that over time has diminished. But for those few moments our nation became ONE. President Bush was correct when he stated

“None of us will never forget this day. . . ”

but what it is that helps us to

“REMEMBER?”

Is it the pain? The suffering?  The days, weeks and months that we would hear and see a fallen NYPD or NYFD employee being buried.  My sister and I visited NYC 1 month after the attack.  What an experience.  The feeling in NYC was different than I had anticipated.  We did walk down to the site.  When we first started our journey down it was the hustle and bustle of NYC that you would expect.  But as we inched our way down to the site where the World Trade Center once stood a completely different feeling overcame me.  It was a feeling I had recognized before.  That past summer our family took our "first" big family vacation.  We visited Nauvoo, Carthage Jail and Gettysburg.  As I compared that moment to ones that I expereinced earlier in the summer I realized they were the exact same feelings.  I knew I was entering sacred ground.  I knew that those feelings meant the Savior and His angels had come to comfort those individuals killed in the attacks.  I knew it was hallowed ground.

As I look back on the past 10 years, many things have happened in life. The one thing that helps me remember this day, these moments in time, and when I wondered WHY? . . . is a loving Heavenly Father and Savior Jesus Christ.  Two days after the attacks, the nation had a “National Day of Prayer.”  I participated.  A couple from our ward was going to the temple to receive their own endowments.  I decided to “fast” and that this would be a perfect way to participate in the National Day of Prayer.  It was the first time in my life that I had fasted with such a purpose and the first time I fasted for the full 24 hours. Amazing! I know! That day, I learned how much our Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ loves not only me, but each one of us. I learned that He does

“comfort those who mourn”

and He does

 “give rest to those who are heavy laden”

At the time, I didn’t realize how this particular day would be a turning point, guide or a marker that I could look back on and say “This Is Why.”  My life has been forever changed.  As I have continued to mature, not only in age, but wisdom I can see the Lords hand in such a horrific day. I can still see and still feel the Saviors presence that enveloped me that day, 10 years ago.  I am grateful for the peace that has allowed me to know all was well. The greatest gift I have been given is knowing that I have a loving Heavenly Father and elder brother, Jesus Christ who personally know me and love me and that through their help and love

I can do "hard things”, especially when I have the Lord’s help.