Day 55~Most Unexpected Ways

My heart has been touched and my eyes wet from the Love I have felt from the Savior. Yesterday, in RS, our lesson was titled As I Know Thou Lovest Me. Listening to the lesson, tears started flowing freely. For my kids the idea of mom crying is no big deal. "Mom cries all the time," but over the past while, my heart has been hardened andthe tears haven't flowed as easily.

As the tears started to well up and with the blink of an eye the tears started streaming down my cheeks. I knew at that very moment that Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ LOVED me! I also knew at that moment the Spirit was breaking the walls I had been trying so hard to rebuild. I was feeling my Saviors love, and I couldn't deny it!

Coming home from church with a renewed determination to become better a person I pondered for awhile the lesson, words, thoughts, comments and feelings that can come into our lives as we know and understand the words As I Know Thou Lovest Me and what they truly mean and what it can do for us in our lives.

Journal Entry: September 5, 2010

"Today has been quite an unusual day. What I mean by unusual is . . . I have been quite emotional. Side note: Children if you read this you're probably thinking "Mom always cries, what's so strange about that?" Let me tell you. Lately—I have been holding back, hanging onto things. I have been feeling and seeing my heart harden. Today, the flood gates opened! During Relief Society, Sister Melonie Murray taught the lesson "As I Know Thou Lovest Me" from the hymn "Lord I Would Follow Thee." As she taught the lesson an overwhelming sense of love penetrated my heart. The walls I had so carefully built, the hurt I was hanging onto, and the anger I won't let go of came to complete halt. As I experienced this halt an overwhelming feeling of peace entered my heart. My heart actually felt soft. WOW!! How did this happen? Here are some of the things we discussed in RS yesterday.

If we know the Savior loves us we will

• Do Missionary Work/Share with others what we have that is desirable
  
• Have a desire to become better
  
• Keep the Commandments
  
• Search the Scriptures
  
• Repent
  
• Be Chastened
  
• Blessed and Chosen children of God
  
• Desire to have NO CONTENTION
  
• Experience Joy
  

In Mosiah 4:11-12 it gives guidelines in what we need to do in order to remember our joy and the greatness of God when we do those things listed above

• Remember
  
• Be humble
  
• Pray daily
  
• Stand steadfastly in faith
  
• Rejoice/Be happy and have joy
  
• Filled with the Love of God
  
• Repent
  
• Grow in Knowledge
  

WOW! What an amazing moment! I am in awe at the love I have felt from the Savior this week. He is mindful of me and what I need at this very moment. I think of His 'tender mercies' and I am grateful for them and pray to carry His love with me always."

As I reflected upon some of what I wrote in my journal I can't help but feel the kindness and love that only comes from His Love. As I was glancing back over past entries—I know that a part of the puzzle was given to me through the lesson.

Journal Entry: June 15, 2008

"Although there is goodness in my life, there seems to be so much sadness. What can I do? Father, teach me—test me—help me to draw closer to thee. I do know the only way to overcome these feelings and weaknesses is through Thee and the power of the Atonement and accepting Thy will. Father, I do not understand—but I do know Thou has a plan. How the plan turns out—only you know—but I know it is what Thou wants—not what Kim Hopkins wants. Help and guide me to be more accepting of thy will—it's hard when I feel Thou wast talking to me and something else happened. Help me to be humble—NOT PRIDEFUL—and most of all accepting of Thy will. I Love Thee."

As hard as some days may seem, the Lord does answer prayers in the most unexpected ways.